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I will not kid myself into thinking that one, I know all about love and how to “do it right,” and two, that I can possibly cover the subject of heartbreak in one post. But, it is definitely a topic that I want to start talking about over the lifetime of my blog (wow, imagine me still writing about this 20 years from now…crazy!). After having a seven year on/off relationship with my now husband, having friends and family of every background who have literally experienced pretty much all the relationship issues that could come up, and having witnessed my parents’ successful marriage with its share of hiccups, I do have a few cents to share.
One topic I want to discuss is getting into relationships in the first place. If I had to give one tip on how to best avoid heartbreak, it would be this: If the guy or girl isn’t someone you can imagine being good marriage material, back off. Reversely, don’t rule a guy or girl out if they have marriage potential but not x, y, z. I guess that’s two tips, but let’s be honest, there are two types of love-fail guys and girls: the ones who open themselves up too much, and those who have so many standards they never find Mr./Mrs. “Right.”
Now I can see myself receiving two very different responses: either the, “well Maria how will I ever find the right person if I don’t experiment with a bunch of them”? or the, “well Maria I don’t want to date just anyone, I have standards and I don’t want to settle.” My answer to that? I’m telling you how to best avoid heartbreak, take it or leave it. You can proceed in doing what you’re doing and continue having your heart broken (or break someone else’s heart) or remain loveless because you won’t consider a potentially great person who maybe doesn’t have the best movie taste (just an example!).
So babycakes, before you jump into or rule out a relationship, take a good hard look at the person. Do they have the essentials: a good heart, acceptable work ethic, the morales you require, the ability to commit? Do they make you happy? If not, stop going on dates with someone just because they give you attention you crave! Stop avoiding a relationship because they aren’t perfect!
Have a great weekend my loves 
PS – I encourage you to get to know lots of people. But remember you don’t need to embark on a romantic relationship with them in order to do so.
Meghan @ Out of Order
1 year ago
some positive things to keep in mind, thanks Maria!
Maria Reply:
June 7th, 2010 at 10:15 am
Definitely girlfriend!
Maya
1 year ago
I think one of the main things I’ve learned about getting into relationships, is a golden rule: “If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it”
Maria Reply:
June 7th, 2010 at 10:15 am
That’s a great measure to go by!
Cassie
1 year ago
Wow. . .very well said. I think the best idea is to be friends first, meet their friends, have them meet yours and hang out in groups, getting to know that person before you make the decision to get your heart involved. You could bypass years of frustration and hurt by not just giving your heart to the first person that wants to take it. Maria, you have a wealth of wisdom beyond your years. I love you and your blog!
Maria Reply:
June 7th, 2010 at 10:17 am
Thanks girl. It’s so true, having a relationship built on getting to know each other’s personalities and interests is such a wonderful foundation to have, rather than “oh, you’re cute, let’s try this out!”
Jonathan Volk
1 year ago
Best 7½+ years of my life! <33333
Maria Reply:
June 7th, 2010 at 10:17 am
<33
Felicia
1 year ago
I’ve unfortunately learned the hard way that one of the best ways to avoid heartbreak is to not ignore red flags when they come up during the ‘courting’ stage (or whatever you prefer to call it). Much easier to end things at that point than when you’re neck deep in a relationship.
Maria Reply:
June 7th, 2010 at 10:18 am
So true. Not to mention, if your close friends and family are telling you they aren’t comfortable with it, at least try to understand where they are coming from.
darren
1 year ago
sigh, I feel like a loser reading this(because I’m a boy), but this is a GREAT blog!!!
I totally agree with your rule. Over the years, you see relationships come and go; some of them are doomed before they even start. People enter into relationships for the wrong reasons, whether it be companionship, similar tastes, etc. People are always so fixated with what is happening now, that they fail to examine the future–long-term, prospects. The question of if someone is marriage material, provides a good indication of whether you want the same things in life, along with sharing the same values(integrity, religion, etc).
I don’t really know what it is, but people seem drawn to the superficial things. I wouldn’t go as far as saying that’s all people care about, but I feel people don’t look at what is truly important. People’s preferences in foods, music, etc, may change over time, but who they are as a person(what you call essentials), more or less, don’t.
A little too late, when you’re trying to change things about the significant other(getting them to go to church, etc.). That puts a lot of strain into the relationship having to give up your values(who you are). Of course, this is not the same as listening to new music or trying new foods.
Maria Reply:
June 7th, 2010 at 10:23 am
Hahah oh Darren! Don’t worry, there’s a handful of you guys on here. I just hope that I can try and make this blog fun for both sides
Such a great comment. Thanks for contributing
J&L
1 year ago
Sound advice Maria! Love the post.
Maria Reply:
June 7th, 2010 at 10:23 am
Thanks girls!
PoppyCoburn
1 year ago
So, so true. I’m caught between my best friend and this new man I met last week. The best friend and I have a complicated history and thinking about it, I doubt I could trust my heart, no matter how many times he says he loves me.
Maria Reply:
June 7th, 2010 at 10:24 am
That’s a hard one. Do the people close to you have any opinions on the matter?
carrie
1 year ago
great advice indeed!!
Maria Reply:
June 7th, 2010 at 10:24 am
Thanks love!